3 Life-Changing Books too Painful to Read Again
Life-changing stories I can’t revisit because the pain is too hard to take.
Life-changing stories I can’t revisit because the pain is too hard to take.
Every once in a while you come across a book that leaves you shattered.
You weep uncontrollably, stain the pages with your tears, and let the author break your heart with their words.
You see yourself in the characters and feel your chest getting tight each time they are in pain. You feel this overwhelming love for them as if they’re your people.
Such books leave you changed. They break you to pieces and lift you back up again. They infuse your heart and soul with lessons you wouldn’t have had the privilege to learn otherwise.
But sadly, you can experience such books only once in a lifetime. Because they’re so painful, you can’t muster the courage to knowingly get back into their world.
This article is about three such books. They are powerful, moving, and life-changing. But now that I know how much they hurt me, I can’t get back to them again.
And yet, I couldn’t recommend them enough.
These books will teach you empathy. They will expand your heart and make you understand what it truly means to be human.
I love these books so much, I believe every reader should experience them at least once. And so, my friend, read on for three of the most heart-touching, life-changing books I’ve even had the fortune to read.
(Note: The links mentioned in this article are affiliate links. If you choose to purchase these books through them, it will help me earn a small amount — at no extra cost to you. Thanks!)
Sadly, you can experience such books only once in a lifetime. Because they’re so painful, you can’t muster the courage to knowingly get back into their world.
1. They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera
Trigger warning: Death.
If you knew you’d die in the next 24 hours (but not how or where), what would you do to make your last day memorable?
This book follows two eighteen-year-old boys on their last day alive, as they roam around the town and make memories they know will be obliterated in less than 24 hours. They laugh and go on adventures and find love when they least expect it.
As the title suggests, they both die at the end. But before that, they live. And oh, how they live.
Why you should read it
We as a species tend to push death to the sidelines. We know it will eventually happen to us, but we choose to live in denial, protected by the comfort that it won’t happen to us, at least not today.
This book challenges that perception and forces you to think. If you indeed knew it was your last day on the planet, how would you live it? Would you lie in bed all day wallowing at everything that could have been, or would you go out and give it all you got?
I recommend this book so highly because, on top of challenging all your preconceived notions, it gives you two wonderful characters who will stay on long after you turn the last page.
Why I won’t read it again
I just…can’t.
I know where the story is going. I know how it ends. I know how much beauty lies for me on the way. But in spite of that, I’m not brave enough to witness my lovely Mateo and Rufus live through so many miracles, only to lose it all in the end.
I wish I could read it, for the book is truly beautiful. But I don’t have enough strength. At least, not just yet.
They both die at the end. But before that, they live. And oh, how they live.
2. Olive Juice by TJ Klune
Trigger warning: Suicide, death, alcoholism.
David gets a text from Phillip saying he wants to see him. This makes his heart beat faster and his throat dry. His first instinct is to remove his wedding ring and hide it in his pocket before meeting Phillip.
You know David and Phillip have a history together.
You know there’s a woman involved who’s no longer there.
You know there was a wedding and all three of them were happy.
You know something big happened that shattered their lives forever.
But you don’t know what.
And this book is a journey towards unfolding David and Phillip’s story together. What happened that broke David so much? Why does Phillip look like he hasn’t slept in days? Who’s the woman and whose wedding was she involved in?
I’m not telling you more, but this book is about David, Phillip, and the woman’s story.
Why you should read it
This book will make you cry. It will make you smile, and laugh silly. It will break you, then make you whole again. It will make you realize that things don’t turn out right all the time, and sometimes, that’s okay, because that’s all you get. You’ve got to learn to pick up the broken pieces and move on because that’s how cruel and kind and wonderful and terrifying life is.
Your heart will yearn to have someone you could say “Olive Juice” to.
Why I won’t read it again
I first read this book in an airport and couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. I don’t know if it’s what the author did to the characters, or what the writing did to me.
And yes, the author did make me smile with the ending, but the raw pain throughout is too hard to take. Much as I want to experience the book again, I doubt I’ll ever have the strength.
You’ve got to learn to pick up the broken pieces and move on because that’s how cruel and kind and wonderful and terrifying life is.
3. Mornings in Jenin by Susan Abulhawa
Trigger warning: Death, violence, depression.
This is a beautiful book that tells of the struggles of the Palestinians when the Zionists attacked them and Israel was set up.
Told through four generations of the Abulheja family, this is a story of love, loss, and heartbreak.
Why you should read it
The book is educative, especially for someone like me who didn’t have much idea of the history of Palestine, Israel, and Lebanon (I didn’t even know Israel was a Jewish state. I thought it was Muslim-dominated, like the rest of the Middle East).
Why I won’t read it again
There is a lot of loss and death, and too many broken dreams. It makes you marvel at the strength of will of the people suffering these terrible losses in refugee camps and living through it all.
I am not so fond of stories where it seems the author has taken every possible thing that can go wrong and made it happen to the protagonist. Of course, I understand this must be the sad reality of many, but this much sadness was too much for my frail heart to bear.
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